For Now
by Lils
Summary: Chris struggles with the possibility that his brother may be something other than good. Set in the original future. One shot.


A/N: Okay, well, this has been sitting in my document manager for _months_. Actually, more like over a year. I posted a shorter version in my livejournal for the psych30 challenge. But I decided to flesh it out a bit more (I know, shocking considering it's just over 800 words). And this is the final product. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Charmed.

_For Now_

Chris felt a wave of drowsiness wash over him as the two conflicting halves battled for control. He wanted to listen. He wated to know everything that he was doing. He hated being kept in the dark. And yet, a part of him wanted to stay that way. He struggled against his desire to keep listening and his desire to block out everything that he was hearing. At the same time, he had no wish to hear any of this.

Chris didn't want to hear the things that his brother had done. He didn't want to know about witches he'd killed. He didn't want to know all of the gory little details. He didn't want to hear the hideous plans that were being made while Chris laid in bed. He struggled with it before deciding he could stomach no more of the sordid details. He made a decision and tightly shut his eyes. He hoped that sleep would come soon, even though he knew it wouldn't. It rarely did anymore. And when it did come it was filled with nightmares of the things he had heard and seen. But that didn't matter right now. He could never sleep as long as he heard their voices.

The voices upstairs in the attic would always keep him awake. He didn't want to know these things. He would try and forget them as soon as he heard them. He wasn't supposed to know these things. He would try and block them out. He really didn't want to know, and he would do anything as long as it kept him from admitting what was becoming increasingly apparent.

One of the voices belonged to his brother. He didn't think about to whom the other voice might belong. He already had an idea of who it might belong to and he didn't want to know anything beyond that. He didn't even want to know _that._ He had heard the voice before. Many times. It had an oily, sinister quality to it. It used to send a shiver of fear down Chris's spine whenever he heard it. But he had grown used to it now. It wasn't the voice itself that had made Chris afraid . He had heard many far more threatening ones before. It was who the voice was speaking with that bothered Chris more than anything else. The sinister voice was speaking with his older brother, Wyatt in a calm, civilized – even friendly – tone. And that scared Chris more than any demon, warlock, darklighter or sorcerer that he had ever faced.

Wyatt and the mystery voice had met several times. He'd never met who it belonged to and he didn't want to. If he met him it meant facing the possibility that Wyatt might be… And he could accept that. Wyatt was the Twice-Blessed. Wyatt the heir to Excalibur. Wyatt the perfect son. Wyatt the best protective big brother a little one could ask for. How could he be anything, but good? He couldn't, Chris decided, even when he was listening to their conversations. He still denied it.

Chris refused to accept that his older brother could be anything but good. It wasn't a subject he liked to approach often. It wasn't a subject he even liked to think about. Anytime, he came close, he would push it away to the back of his mind. It had been getting harder to do lately. Wyatt had been a little off since their mother's death. But that was expected. Their mother had died. She had died. How could anyone expect them to go back to normal after that? Their aunts had died the year before their mom. Their dad was barely around.

All they had was their grandpa and each other. They were the last Halliwells left. They had to stick together. Right? Family was the most important thing. That's what had been drilled into him as a child. The importance of sticking together as a family. He couldn't bring himself to abandon his older brother as he knew he would have to if he ever admitted... He could never do that. Well, not just now anyways. He knew he might - no, he knew he would - someday. But not now. He wasn't ready to give up on one of his last family members. There was still hope at the moment. That's the reason Chris pretended he couldn't hear the voices down the hall. Wyatt was good. Family sticks together. That was all Chris needed to know. For now.


End file.
